"What's wrong?" M. is shouting after you, but you're already out the door, blindly rushing down the stairs. "What the fuck did I do?"

You get in the cab that's been idling a block away. It's an expense you can't really afford. It doesn't matter at this point. Nothing really does.

"Looks like the snow will stick," the cab driver says.

He's stopped at a red light. Better to be safe than sorry. The car behind you honks in frustration. Your driver gives them the finger, but it's too dark out to see it.

Out of habit, you check your phone. It's a text from C.

"Hi stranger, it's been awhile. Come over."

You're already calling them before you know what you're doing. Five rings, then voicemail.

"I miss you," you say softly, stupidly. You're trying to cry as quietly as possible so the driver doesn't hear you. "Happy holidays."

As soon as you enter your apartment, you let out an indiscernible noise. It's halfway between a sob and laugh. It's been a long day, but at least it's ending soon. You drop your bag and get into bed.

You're safe under the covers. You know that, right? It's safe in here.

Close your eyes. It's time for bed.

I'll do it over. I'll start again.